


Back to Me

by MusicIsMyTherapy



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Crossing over ; Love, Different Body, F/F, F/M, Meant To Be, Same soul, Wishing for season 2, different name, don't know how to tag, finding love again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicIsMyTherapy/pseuds/MusicIsMyTherapy
Summary: Luke can't stop thinking about Julie after he crossed over.  He gets help from the person who loves Julie as much as he does.What happens when he finally gets back to her, but as someone different?  Will Julie love him as she did before he crossed over?
Relationships: Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 34
Kudos: 128





	1. Here Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my new account and my other works is under MusicIsMyTherapy (Babaylan_Mama). This is a story that starts from where the others have left off. Also Thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos. I came up with this while writing the other two. Hope you all enjoy it. This is a multi chapter fic! I can't believe it but I've been pushed by some of you all to write more. I appreciate you all. Enjoy!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Don't own any of the characters/storyline/etc of Julie and the Phantoms  
> Song "Here Without You" - 3 Doors Down

**Chapter 1: Here without you**

**Luke’s POV**   
  
Luke had crossed over, but he was more determined than ever to get back to Julie; even if it meant dying again.

  
Ever since he left her he couldn’t stop thinking about her and the one thing that he knew to do was start writing music. The words came fervently until he had a song about how he felt about her. He and the boys started to play it and the memories came rushing back to him when he started playing the melody.   
  
**_Flashback_ **   
  


He stirred in sleep as he was holding her in his arms. He knew it was time for him to cross over, but he wasn’t ready because she wasn’t ready. Alex and Reggie had crossed over that morning and she lay in his arms crying for the loss of her friends, family. His friends, no, family. He comforted her that night, knowing it was the last night he would be able to hold her. Luke didn’t have much time left. He knew that when the boys left. His unfinished business wasn’t playing at the Orpheum, it was receiving the love of a girl whose soul was melded into his own. Luke breathed in her scent to remember it when he crossed over. He looked at her sleeping face, the features that he fell in love with. He was relieved that she had finally fallen asleep after they made love for the last time. 

She nestled closer to him and he held her closer, but he noticed she was starting to stir. He closed his eyes as Julie woke up. He heard her love for him even through her tears,  “I love you Luke and I want you to always know that. I know you’re only holding on for me, but I know you’ve been ready to cross over for awhile now. I’ll be okay I promise. Thank you for showing me what love is and what it is like to be loved.” He waited until she finally went back to sleep. He squeezed her tighter into him, “I love you so much Julie.”

He closed his eyes and matched his breathing to hers as tears fell from his eyes that he had tried to hold in while she was talking to him. He loved her so much, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Her declaration of acceptance was what his soul needed to hear and he knew that before the sun rose he would have to cross over. He woke up to watch her sleeping, committing her face to memory and the small smile that ran across her face as he drew patterns on her back as he tried to wake her softly. The pull of leaving was so much stronger this time and he didn’t have the strength to fight it. His name came out of her lips one last time, his heart ached as he saw the recognition of her face as he placed her down on the futon. He held his face close to hers, trying to keep his tears at bay, he bent down to kiss her one last time. Saying the last words he would speak to her, “I love you Julie, always remember that.” The light was so warm and he knew it was time for him to cross over. He heard her say one last time, “I love you too Luke,” before she fell back asleep.

He watched her one last time before he was pulled to the other side. When he got to the other side he was greeted by Alex and Reggie, pulling him in for a tight hug. He let the tears spill and they hugged him tighter, knowing that he had to leave the love of his life alone.

**_End of Flashback_ **

  
Luke was flooded with emotions as he started to sing the song he wrote for Julie.   
  


_ A hundred days have made me older _ _   
_ _ Since the last time that I saw your pretty face. _ _   
_ _ A thousand lies have made me colder _ _   
_ _ And I don't think I can look at this the same. _ _   
_ _ All the miles that separate _ _   
_ _ Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face. _

_ I'm here without you baby _ _   
_ _ But you're still on my lonely mind. _ _   
_ _ I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. _ _   
_ _ I'm here without you baby _ _   
_ _ But you're still with me in my dreams _ _   
_ _ And tonight girl, it's only you and me. _

He knew that crossing over meant being without her, but he wasn’t ready to give up. He wanted to be with Julie and he would find a way to be with her again, whatever it took. Alex and Reggie shared a knowing glance as they knew their friend had that determined look on his face, and whatever it was they knew it had to do with Julie.

Luke continued playing and singing until there was a crowd around them.   
  
_ The miles just keep rollin' _

_ As the people leave their way to say hello _ _   
_ _ I've heard this life is overrated _ _   
_ _ But I hope that it gets better as we go. _

_ I'm here without you baby _ _   
_ _ But you're still on my lonely mind. _ _   
_ _ I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. _ _   
_ _ I'm here without you baby _ _   
_ _ But you're still with me in my dreams _ _   
_ _ And tonight, it's only you and me. _

Luke remembered their date as he sang the lyrics about Julie.   
  
**_Flashback  
  
_ ** “Luke, please tell me where you’re taking me,” Julie giggled as Luke held her hands.

He loved holding her hands and being able to just touch her. He had wanted to touch her so many times, but being that he was a ghost, he wasn’t able to. And when they finally were able to touch after the performance at the Orpheum, he found ways to always touch her even before they started dating, from soft brushes from his shoulder to hers, to his fingers gently brushing against her hands, those little moments are what made them fall deeper in love with one another.   
  
“Jules, you have to be patient, it’s a surprise,” he said in a singsong voice.   
  
Julie laughed out loud “I hate surprises! Come on at least a hint,” she asked, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.   
  
Luke’s heart skipped a beat, he couldn’t believe that Julie had wanted to be with him despite the circumstances. He loved her so much and she taught him what it was like to be loved. “No can do babe, I promise you’ll love it though,” was all he said as he led her out the studio door.   
  
He poofed them to the beach with his hands over Julie’s eyes. “Okay we’re here,” he said excitedly. Julie adjusted her eyes to the moonlight hitting the water and the sound of music floating in the air.    
  
“Luke, I love this band!” she exclaimed as she jumped into his arms giving him soft kisses.   
  
Luke relished her kisses and hugged her closer to him. “I know you do, now can I have this dance?” he asked as he twirled her around when she nodded yes to him her giggles and laughter echoing in the night.

**_End of flashback_ **   
  
Luke loved that night with her and all the other nights that followed. They mostly kept to the studio, but he wanted to take her out on their first date. They danced all night and kissed under the moonlight. Luke’s heart broke thinking about that night as he continued his song to Julie.   
  
_ Everything I know, and anywhere I go, _ _   
_ _ It gets hard but it won't take away my love. _ _   
_ _ And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done. _ _   
_ _ It gets hard but it won't take away my love. _

_ I'm here without you baby  _ _   
_ _ But you're still on my lonely mind. _

_ I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. _

_ I'm here without you baby _

_ But you're still with me in my dreams _

_ And tonight, it's only you and me. _

The last chord rang out into the crowd as Luke poofed away from the thunderous applause that greeted him and his band mates. Even the thrill of the crowd couldn’t fix his longing for Julie.

Rose watched Luke and his band play the song for her daughter. She could feel the pain in his lyrics and in his voice, tears streaming down his face as he sang. He had seen that in her daughter as well too after he had left. She had only sent them to be her guide, she didn’t expect that Julie would fall in love with Luke. Rose had visited Julie after Luke left and watched her daughter cry out in pain of losing yet another person she loved. But Rose knew that it was different, this man was a part of her daughter’s soul and this pain was something Julie wouldn’t be able to heal from, she knew from experience with Ray. Rose couldn’t watch her daughter become the shell of herself any longer so she set out a plan to get Luke back to Julie, whatever it took. 


	2. Jealous: Luke POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke finds a way to get back to Julie and hears her song of heartbreak to him.
> 
> Jealous - Davina Michelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me. I had written a different chapter two, but it didn't fit. So I turned it into a one shot, a moment with Julie and her mom. Anyways here is the second chapter. I took some of the stuff I wrote on my other account/ story "Jealous" and put it in here as this whole story is about that.
> 
> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. I'll see how much more I can write, but yea, I'm hoping to get some JUKE fluff soon after all of the feels. Okay sorry for rambling! Enjoy

Rose had heard about a person that had gone back to be with the love of their life, but they went back into someone else’s body since they had died. So she would find a way to get Luke back to her daughter. They finally saw a perfect time when a 20 year old boy had gotten to a car accident that was pretty much dead at the table and so Luke slipped into his body. It was weird for Luke at first, but whatever he needed to do to get back to Julie he would do. Even if it was to take on the form of another person. Rose wished him luck and dealt with the guardian angels for Luke.

Luke had been really lucky that the young man that his soul took over was moving next door where Julie and her family lived. He had been waiting for the right moment to introduce his new self to her when they moved next door. Soon he heard a familiar voice floating into his window.   
  
“Julie,” he thought as he beamed at her finding music again. But he wasn’t ready to hear her sobs as he jogged towards the studio where she was. He listened outside of the door to her singing, the most beautiful thing that he has ever heard in his life and afterlife.

_ I'm jealous of the nights _

_ That I don't spend with you _

_ I'm wondering who you lay next to _

_ Oh, I'm jealous of the nights _

_ I'm jealous of the love _

_ Love that wasn't here _

_ Gone for someone else to share _

_ Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause _

_ I wished you the best of _

_ All this world could give _

_ And I told you when you left me _

_ There's nothing to forgive _

_ But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was _

_ Heartbreak and misery _

_ It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way _

_ You're happy without me _

He heard her break a little bit, letting her sobbing get to her as she tried to finish the song. His heart constricted at the pain in her voice, pain that he had caused when he crossed over. He stands there with tears in his eyes, he had a second chance with her and he would do whatever it took to make sure that she wouldn’t feel that pain again. He listened outside the studio as she started singing again.

_ As I sink in the sand _

_ Watch you slip through my hands _

_ Oh, as I die here another day _

_ Cause all I do is cry behind this smile _

_ I wished you the best of _

_ All this world could give _

_ And I told you when you left me _

_ There's nothing to forgive _

_ But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was _

_ Heartbreak and misery _

_ It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way _

_ You're happy without me-e-e-eee _

He listened to her sobbing at the end of the song. He wanted to just open the door and rush in there, but Rose’s voice stopped him. And he remembered what they had talked about before he stepped into this body.

**_Flashback_ **

  
“Luke, listen to me,” Rose pointedly stared at him gripping his hands in hers, “You cannot tell her that it is you. It is against the rules. If you two are meant to be together, you will find a way to be with her and she with you, regardless of what you look like on the outside. The guardian angels will bring your soul back up here and you will never be able to see her again. That is the rule that you cannot break, ever. No matter what, do you hear me?” Rose said with a stern look in her face.

“Yes Rose, I know the rule. I’m just not that patient though,” he whined.

“Rein it in or else this whole thing would have been for not,” stated Rose as she pulled him into a hug. “Take care of my baby girl Luke, she loves you and will find her way back to you, I promise that. Just be patient.”

Luke hugged her back, “Thank you Rose for everything, I know what you risked to get me back to her,” he said with sadness in his eyes.

Rose let him go, “I know that she needs you more, and I’ll see her when she gets up here,” she said softly, tears spilling from her eyes.

“Thank you Rose, for everything,” Luke said squeezing her hands before he left.

**_End of Flashback_ **   
  
So Luke waited. He knew the consequences of telling her who he was and he couldn’t let what Rose did for him be for nothing the first time he is near Julie. He heard her get up from what he assumed was the piano bench and slowly walk towards the door. He hears her say she loves him. His heart bursts and he can’t help but smile that she still loved him, no matter how much time had passed. He hears her quickly walking towards the door as if in a sprint. 

He stands there awkwardly in the sunlight as Julie opens the door looking at him saying his name, “Luke?” before she starts to faint. He quickly goes to catch her before she falls on the floor and he is left there holding her as he tries to wake her up.


	3. My Immortal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie writes again.
> 
> The song: My Immortal - Evanescence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read my other fan fic Jealous please do so. That helps set up this story. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 3: My Immortal**

  
Luke’s POV

Luke sat there with Julie in his arms, but he wasn’t ready to be there yet to meet her like this. So he set her down on the couch in the studio, their couch. And he gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, breathing her in, how he missed her so much, but he knew that this was not the way to introduce himself to her. He slowly walked away and left her, he would introduce himself later in the day, when she was not so distraught over him.

Julie’s POV

Julie found herself on the couch of the studio, not knowing how she got there since she remembered seeing Luke before everything went black. But it couldn’t have been Luke because he was gone. Her mind was playing tricks on her and she wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. She thought she had put that behind her after her song to him, after her goodbye to him. It had been one and a half years of heartbreak, but she was finally ready to move on, writing the song and singing it was her way of acknowledging that it was time.

She lay on the couch and remembered the countless times that they had been there writing together and just loving one another. She sighed and got up as a lyric came floating to her mind. She went back to the house to write.

Julie had her keyboard in her room and she started playing a melody that she couldn’t get out of her head. Soon she started writing to the melody. It was a haunting melody and the words just came to her. 

_ I'm so tired of being here _ _   
_ _ Suppressed by all my childish fears _ _   
_ _ And if you have to leave _ _   
_ _ I wish that you would just leave _ _   
_ _ 'Cause your presence still lingers here _ _   
_ _ And it won't leave me alone _

_ These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real _ _   
_ _ There's just too much that time cannot erase _

Julie really wanted to move on and live her life, like she had promised Luke she would, but her heart was so broken beyond repair when he left. She had just started writing music again, but all of her songs, melodies were filled with sadness and pain. She wasn’t able to write or think of anything else. Her sadness had encompassed her these past year and a half and she didn’t know how to let go of it, let go of him fully. So she just kept writing how she felt, no matter if it was sadness and pain, because this was her life right now.

_ When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears _ _   
_ _ When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears _ _   
_ _ And I held your hand through all of these years _ _   
_ _ But you still have all of me _

_ You used to captivate me by your resonating light _ _   
_ _ Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind _ _   
_ _ Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams _ _   
_ _ Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me _

_ These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real _ _   
_ _ There's just too much that time cannot erase _

Julie had always thought Luke would visit her in her dreams, similar to how her mother did, but there he didn’t. There were no visits, no blissful dreams of them together, no way to talk to him and it hurt her even more so than him leaving. She thought that their connection was strong enough for him to visit her, but she was wrong and that left her with a hole in her heart that would not be filled any time soon, if ever.

_ I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone _ _   
_ _ But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along _

_ When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears _

_ When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears _

_ And I held your hand through all of these years _

_ You still have all of me, me, me _

But even with him not visiting her, she still felt him. Felt him in the studio, in her room, in her house even, but she knew it was just the memories that she was holding on to. The memories that they shared, the looks he would give her, the sound of his laughter and the way he held her. Every memory that she tries so hard to not forget because if she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t ready to let him go. And as much as she told her dad and Flynn that she was okay, she wasn’t. Luke had her whole heart and she didn’t know what to do without him.

Julie finished the song with tears streaming down her face. Her body racking with sobs that she didn’t know she still had in her. She fell asleep with the memory of Luke and her first date at the beach. And she slept more peacefully than she had for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yalls liked it. Please leave a comment or a kudo if you want me to continue this. I have one more chapter written out.


	4. Chapter 4 - July 4th Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke finally introduces himself to Julie, but it is not the introduction he dreamed of having with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I have been extremely busy and honestly unmotivated to continue. I do have Chapter 5 ready to go. Please leave thoughts if you want.
> 
> Thank you and enjoy!

**Chapter 4: July 4th Encounters**

A few weeks later Luke still hadn’t been able to introduce himself to Julie because he was still trying to get used to the person that he was now. He looked at himself in the mirror and still couldn’t believe this was his body now. He had dark hair, similar to Reggie’s and bluish gray eyes like Alex and he still had his signature smirk and biceps. It was like they were all rolled up into one body. He was 20 years old and he was living in a home with his parents. He was an only child and they were doting on him since after his accident. They had moved to the LA area from San Francisco because his dad had been transferred to a company down there. They had found places for sale, but didn’t find anything they liked until they saw one in Julie’s neighborhood, actually next door to Julie. His window faced her window and he was so excited that he was so close to her, but so far away.

He found out his name was Joshua Lucas Bennet Jr. and his parents surprisingly called him Lucas since he was named after his dad. He also played the piano which was surprising to him since he had never played that instrument before. He was glad that he still had music within him and he was an opera singer. He figured the kid was a classical musician. But that would be fine, since he still had music with him.

He had gotten the hang of having supportive parents and also parents that wanted him to follow his dreams of being a classical pianist and opera singer. This was a big difference from his life and he appreciated the love this family had given him. But he was still trying to figure out how to introduce himself to Julie.

He had seen her jogging around their block, headphones on and not a care in the world. He was outside in their yard when she ran past him with tears in her eyes and as he was about to say hello he stopped because he knew that it wasn’t the time. He kept having these moments when all of a sudden July 4th came and there was a block party in the neighborhood. This would be his moment right? He hoped she would be there so he could finally talk to her.

**July 4th**

“Come on Julie, we’re gonna miss out on all the good food!” Flynn stated as she rushed Julie to get dressed so they could get to the annual fourth of July festivities in Julie’s neighborhood. They never missed it, except for last year when Julie wasn’t feeling like celebrating since the boys had left. Flynn understood that and stayed with her and even brought a plate of food to her, but Julie didn’t feel like eating and so Flynn stayed with her as she ate. Flynn was so happy that Julie was starting to come out of her shell, it had scared her because she had seen Julie like this before when her mom died, but this was different. It felt like Julie wasn’t herself anymore and the spark that was in her eyes just died out when the boys left. 

Flynn had been the supportive loving best friend that she was to Julie when her mom died and when the boys crossed over. They even made amends with Carrie, who apologized to Julie after the Orpheum performance because she missed Julie and Flynn’s friendship. It was weird at first, but they eventually fell back into a rhythm with one another and it felt good to have the trio back together.

“Jules, you have to wear the blue top so we can all be the colors of the flag!” stated Carrie who was sitting on Julie’s bed wearing a red and white striped top as Flynn was next to her wearing a red top with blue shorts with stars on it.

“Ugh fine, I guess to go with this theme yalls have on,” Julie giggled as she looked at her friends. She put on her dark blue tube top and black shorts with her signature chucks. “Alright let’s go and get this over with,” Julie sighed. Her friends shot her a look and hugged her.

“Let’s just make an appearance, grab some food and then we can come back here if you want ok?” stated Carrie as she put her head on Julie’s shoulder.

“Yea, Jules, let’s just make an appearance and go from there ok?” pleaded Flynn as she put her head on Julie’s other shoulder.

Julie looked at her friends and herself in the mirror behind the door, she was happy that they had all made up. They had really been there for her when she was going through everything these past two years. She wouldn’t know what she would’ve done without them. They really helped her pick up the pieces to her heart, even though not mended, they tried to heal her in whatever way they could.

“Ok, thank you. I love you both so much,” giving the girls a side hug then headed outside to the party.

“Wow it’s crackin’ this year!”

“Yea does it seem like there are more people this year than before?” asked Carrie yelling because there were so many more people and there was music playing in the background.

The girls walked towards Julie’s dad, brother and Tia Victoria at the table that they had put out in front of their yard. The girls greeted the family and then went to go grab some food. There were a few tables that held the food and the girls went to get something to eat as they were all starving. As Julie was about to grab the last brownie, her favorite when someone else took it.

“Um excuse you, but that’s my brownie that’s on your plate,” Julie hissed out.

“Oh I’m sorry but it seems like it’s mine now,” the boy stated smugly then had a quick shocked look on his face then went back to smug.

Julie rolled her eyes at him, “really dude, whatever,” she stated and stormed off towards her friends and family. Only turning back to glare at the rude boy who stole her brownie, who was smiling smugly back at her eating said brownie.

LUKE’S POV   
  
He didn’t expect to run into Julie at the dessert table, but there he was grabbing the last brownie that she was supposedly going for. He made a snarky comment to her, not knowing what came over him, but it felt right at the moment.

She then gave him a death glare and walked away. He looked over to her and saw that she was still staring at him with squinted eyes so he did what came naturally, smiled at her while eating the brownie.

He went to sit by his parents and could feel Julie’s glare on him. So that was how they first met and throughout the night they had brushed by each other and when he finally introduced himself to her it was what folks would call explosive, literally.

Julie was sitting with her two friends, Flynn and Carrie and her family. He was happy for her that she and Carrie had made up after their performance at the Orpheum, Julie seemed happy with both of them by her side. His mom and dad were introducing themselves to the neighbors and asked him to join them. When they finally got to Julie’s table, the girls all glared at him. His parents introduced themselves to the table and his mom nudged him to introduce himself. 

“Hi, I’m Joshua Lucas, but my parents call me Lucas,” he said confidently shaking hands with Tia Victoria, Ray, and Carlos. They shook his hand and welcomed him and his family to the neighborhood. The girls glared at him when he was trying to shake their hands and actually went back to talking to one another. Ray and Victoria saw the exchange, “Girls, please don’t be rude to our new neighbor,” Victoria stated smiling threateningly at the girls as Ray chuckled softly.

Julie looked at her aunt, stood up with her arms across her chest, then looked at Lucas smiling condescendingly and welcomed him to the neighborhood to appease her Tia Victoria. Lucas just gave her a smirk as the other girls gave him a fake smile and turned to his parents to welcome them to the neighborhood. They excused themselves and walked towards her house.

Luke, not being able to stop himself, ran after her. “Hold up, I didn’t even get your name” he said as he reached for her elbow. Once he touched her elbow he felt tingles in his hands and he knew that Julie felt them too because she turned around so fast and looked down at his hand touching her, but only for a split second.

“Get your hands off of me, jerk!” she said as she glared at him annoyed that he touched her like he knew her.

Luke drew his hand away from her elbow and put his hands up, “I’m sorry, I just wanted to know your name since I didn’t get it earlier.” he then grabbed his neck giving Julie a small smirk.

Julie gasped but quickly masked it with anger and turned to walk away, “It’s Julie, happy?” as she stormed back to her house with Carrie and Flynn. The two girls looked back towards him and gave him a small smile as they followed Julie.

Luke was left watching them and he couldn’t believe the recognition from Julie’s slight gasp. He couldn’t help but have the same movements he had from his old body. It just came naturally and he knew that was something that made her scared, if not pissed at him. Pissed he could work with, but scared, that was something that she only had shown the first time they met and when she started to see the jolts go through his and the band’s body. He hopes that she isn’t scared of him because that would break his heart, so let’s get her pissed then.

And as if his body had betrayed him, he ran up to her before they got to the house and grabbed her arm again. 

“What the fuck dude!” instead of pulling her arm away from him she elbowed him in his stomach. That was not what he was expecting and he hunched down from the force of her hit. 

Bowled over in pain he looks up at her, “I’m sorry, I just “ trying to catch his breath and compose himself. Julie was glaring at him with his arms crossed. The girls had tried to go back out, but Julie told them to go inside that she would handle this.

“I just wanted to say I hope we can get to know one another,” he said as he got his breath back.

“Why?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“Ummm I just want to make it up to you, maybe I’ll make you brownies?” he squeaked out giving her a small smile not sure if he might get hit again. He was worried, her elbow was hard!

Julie looked at him trying to keep from smiling as he gave her a smirk. But composed herself enough to turn away and then look back at him, “I don’t like nuts in my brownies,” as she went to walk back into the house with the girls.

Luke was surprised that she had even said anything to him, but he’d take it. “Progress!” he yelled and pumped his fist into the air. Now he had to learn how to make brownies.


	5. Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas and Julie connect through music as she mourns the boys and Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright yalls. I'm feeling the writing bug. Here is the next chapter. Please leave kudos or comments. It makes me write faster :) Enjoy

**Chapter 5: “Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer”**

It has been a few weeks and a few boxes of brownie mixes later that Julie and Lucas had a somewhat friendship. If saying thank you for the brownies and saying hello when they saw each other was a friendship, then it was to Luke. He just wanted to figure out a way to talk to her and really talk to her. It was hard though since she has been with more people recently. Always with her brother, her dad, her friends and sometimes even with her tia. It was like they were trying to shield her from something, but he didn’t know what. Then he looked at the date, September 9, the day that he and the boys had moved on. He kept his distance knowing that she was in mourning, mourning them, mourning him. 

He was in his room when he heard the sounds of a guitar coming from her room. He looked out towards her window and he saw her sitting by the window. He moved so she wouldn’t see him. Julie was strumming the guitar playing a melody. He didn’t know that she had learned how to play guitar, and it wasn’t just any guitar it was his guitar. His heart started beating rapidly, but he composed himself and let himself listen to her as she strummed the sad melody. Soon he heard her start singing.

_ I never dreamed you'd leave in summer _

_ I thought you would go then come back home _

_ I thought the cold would leave by summer _

_ But my quiet nights will be spent alone _

His heart was breaking because she was so sad and he had done this to her. So he did what he and Julie always did, play music together. He took his keyboard and started to find how he could compliment her song.

Soon Julie looked at him through her window and she gave him a soft smile while he gave her a small nod, asking her to continue. 

_ You said there would be warm love in springtime _ _   
_ _ That was when you started to be cold _ _   
_ _ I never dreamed you'd leave in summer _ _   
_ _ But now I find myself all alone _

_ You said then you'd be the life in autumn _ _   
_ _ Said you'd be the one to lead the way _ _   
_ _ I never dreamed you'd leave in summer _ _   
_ _ But now I find my love has gone away _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Why didn’t you stay?

She was crying freely watching Lucas play the song with her. She stopped playing the guitar as Lucas kept playing the keyboard as she held the note as long as she could through her tears. He looked at her as he ended the song. She mouthed thank you to him and went to lay on her bed. Luke smiled softly. He did this to her and he couldn’t take it. He just wanted to let her know that it was him, her Luke right in front of her. He wanted to take her in his arms and just comfort her, especially today when he knew that she was crying because of him. So he decided to go to her and work his way back to her, knowing that he couldn’t tell her who he truly was.

He was at her doorstep and was about to ring the doorbell when she opened the door looking at him. They fumbled at their words when they both stated, “I was just coming to .. you” They laugh and she asks if he wants to take a walk with her. He walks with her, not knowing where they are going, but just following her, letting her take the lead. They walk in silence for a while until they reach a playground. She walks towards the swings and he follows, getting behind her to push her. She laughs and her laugh is so contagious that he laughs as well feeling his heart swell with love for her. They end up by the benches and just enjoy each other’s company.

“Thank you,” she says quietly that he almost misses it.

“I think I’m the one who should say thank you,” he says turning towards her. “Thank you for sharing your voice with me, you have a beautiful voice Julie.” 

She blushes at his compliment covering her face with her hair, “you’re welcome?”

They share a laugh and start walking back to their houses. 

“I haven’t sang like that in awhile. But today has been hard. The past two years actually,” she states with tears starting to form in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly trying to keep the tears from falling.

Luke’s fingers twitch wanting to reach out to her and hold her hand, but stops himself knowing that this is the first time they have been alone and it might be too much for her right now. He is surprised when her hand is in his.

“Is this okay?” she asks him, feeling that sense of familiarity she had felt when she held his hand during July 4th.

Luke has to catch his breath, “Yea,” he states as he squeezes her hand in his. 

They say their goodbyes and thanks walking to their homes. Sitting in their respective homes, they each contemplate what just happened between the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: "Never Thought You'd Leave in Summer" Stevie Wonder


	6. Wake Me Up When September Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie gets helpful advice from the boys via music.
> 
> Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments/kudos. Appreciate you all. Sorry that this has taken so long to update. Will have another update hopefully soon. Finals and all :)

**Chapter 6:** **Wake Me Up When September Ends**

**2 weeks later**

The last two weeks have been amazing for both Julie and Luke. They have been getting to know one another again, taking their walks to the park and just talking. There have been many times that Luke wanted to just hold her in his arms, but all they ever did was just hold hands. They started finding their way back to each other, like the first time that they had met. Their bonds of friendship started to form again. That was undeniable, it was their friendship that had started their romance for one another. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. He wanted to befriend Julie first and then hopefully have her fall in love with him again. They were always meant to be together right? That was the reason that he had risked it all to be back with her. He hoped that their time together would lead to more and hopefully soon as he missed kissing her and holding her in his arms.

Julie and Luke were talking at the park when she told him that she was thinking of going away to school because it was too hard to be at home, she had been accepted to several colleges. He prodded her what was the reason for her suddenly wanting to leave and she told him that there were too many memories in the house/garage that hurt her too much. She wasn’t able to fully move on from the memories, but maybe being in a different place would make sure that she would be able to forget, if only for a little bit.

“Where do you think you’ll go?” he asks her, holding onto her hands.

“I’m not sure, maybe New York, but I really hate the snow, so maybe San Francisco?”

“You’ll love San Francisco. It’s beautiful there. But I would be sad to see you go after , um,” he pointed his fingers between the two of them and dropped her other hand.

Julie blushed at him being so shy around her all of a sudden. “Luke, I mean Lucas,” she started and it almost felt like it was Luke, her Luke all of a sudden. “Umm never mind.”

“No Julie, please tell me,” Luke prodded.

“Lu- Lucas I really enjoy our time together and I haven’t felt like that in awhile. It’s like something in you is so familiar, which is crazy because… never mind,” she states as she looks out into the park not wanting to feel this way about him, because she felt she was betraying her Luke.

Luke knew what she was thinking. He felt her slowly moving on from him. But gosh he wanted to just tell her that it was him and that she didn’t really have to move on because he is right here! But he knew that he couldn’t do that without risking him never to be able to see her again. 

“Maybe we can make new memories so that you won’t have to worry about the bad ones coming back?” he questioned while holding onto Julie’s hands.

Julie felt warmth surround her as she looked at Lucas, “I’d like that,” as she squeezed his hands in hers, looking up at him shyly. “I guess that means I’ll be going to UCLA then,” smiling up at Lucas she slowly leans in towards him.

“Jules,” Lucas whispered as he started to lean towards her.

Julie stops before she can kiss him and automatically starts to think about Luke. “I’m sorry Lucas , I umm have to go, umm see you tomorrow?” she says as she runs towards her house, leaving Luke alone in the park wondering if he did something wrong.

Julie ran straight to her room after her almost kiss with Lucas. “Luke, I miss you,” she sighed as she laid on her bed. Julie was going to kiss Lucas until he called her Jules. It was the way he said it that had sounded so much like her Luke. She missed Luke so much, but being with Lucas was so comfortable, like she was with Luke. 

She knows that Luke had to leave her because he was a ghost. Lucas is real, but she still feels like she is betraying Luke by moving on so fast. Thoughts raced through her mind about being loyal to Luke and knowing that Luke would want her to live her life. It has been 2 years now since he had left. She wasn’t sure yet if she was ready to be able to fully move on from him, but Lucas felt so familiar she couldn’t quite place what it was about him. 

True he did start off like an ass when they first met, but afterwards he showed her that he was kind, thoughtful, considerate, and so supportive of her figuring things out on her own. He was willing to just hold her hand and until today, she didn’t know if they were just friends or could be something more. But her mind always went back to Luke. She wouldn’t want to keep stringing Lucas along if she wasn’t fully ready to move on from Luke. 

“Baby, I wish you would just visit me to let me know it’s okay to move on. I miss you Luke, so much. Please send me a sign or visit me to know it's okay. I don’t want to hurt you by moving on so quickly,” Julie said to her room. This was how she talked to Luke, hoping that he could hear her. What Julie didn’t realize was that her other boys were always watching her. They knew Luke was there with her and that they wanted to make sure that she would be able to be with him for real. 

Alex and Reggie loved Julie like a sister that they hated to see her crying when she thought about them, well mostly Luke. But regardless they hurt when she hurts. They have been trying to get her to realize that they were there when they would leave something in her room that might remind her of them, having a web page up on rock music, or even sending her something through the radio. But Julie was oblivious to the signs. Sometimes they wish she could still see them so they would tell her it was okay to move on. But they knew they weren’t able to. So they did some more with music hoping that she would understand the meaning of it.

Julie laid on her bed when her stereo started playing by itself. She thought she might have laid on the remote and just let the music fill the room. The soft guitar melody that introed the song, the soft male voice floating in the room and she looked around like someone was there. But she knew no one was there, they hadn’t been there for over two years now. So she let the music fill the room and her mind. 

_ Summer has come and passed _ _  
_ _ The innocent can never last _ _  
_ _ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Like my fathers come to pass _ _  
_ _ Seven years has gone so fast _ _  
_ _ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Here comes the rain again _ _  
_ _ Falling from the stars _ _  
_ _ Drenched in my pain again _ _  
_ _ Becoming who we are _

_ As my memory rests _ _  
_ _ But never forgets what I lost _

_ Wake me up when September ends _   
  
The soft string of the guitar then the drums and the bass start to kick in and it feels like it is her boys singing to her. Julie closes her eyes and can picture them in their element, singing to her.

_ Summer has come and passed _ _  
_ _ The innocent can never last _ _  
_ _ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Ring out the bells again _ _  
_ _ Like we did when spring began _ _  
_ _ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Here comes the rain again _ _  
_ _ Falling from the stars _ __  
_ Drenched in my pain again _ _  
_ __ Becoming who we are

_ As my memory rests _

_ But never forgets what I lost _

_ Wake me up when September ends _

The band is playing this song to her, she can see it now. She wonders if they would’ve been big like Green Day. How she wished they would have lived to fulfil their dream. God she missed her boys. 

_ Summer has come and passed _

_ The innocent can never last _

_ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Like my father's come to pass _

_ Twenty years has gone so fast _

_ Wake me up when September ends _

_ Wake me up when September ends  _

_ Wake me up when September ends _

Julie felt the air shift and she felt like the boys were there in her room. She looks up as the song ends and her stereo turns off on its own. She looks around and feels the need to move to the corner of her room where she feels her boys are and reaches out to give them a hug. Reggie and Alex look at one another and wonder how Julie felt them, giving her a hug in return. They had done their job and they knew she was ready to live again.

“Thank you, I love you guys,” Julie whispers with tears falling down her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments/kudos etc if you can. I appreciate you all! Happy holidays


	7. Perfect Harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie finds Lucas playing Perfect Harmony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I try to write a chapter extra before posting and I was having an issue with the next chapter.

**Chapter 7: Perfect Harmony**

Julie woke up and just felt lighter. Her boys had given her a sign that it was okay to move on, but of course never forgetting them. She felt that it was okay to give Lucas a chance. They had been getting closer over these past few months. He had become her confidant, to some extent, he didn’t know about the boys, at least not yet. She was going to tell him eventually but she just liked being Julie with him. 

What Julie felt with Lucas she had never felt with anyone else other than Luke. And that somewhat unnerved her because she wasn’t sure that she would be able to feel that way again after Luke had left. If she really thought about it, Lucas had some of Luke’s tendencies that Julie pushed off as somewhat a boy thing. Lucas would bite his bottom lip the same way as Luke, when Lucas was nervous he would sheepishly look up at her and rub the back of his neck, and Lucas even had that same excitement in his eyes when he got excited about something or wanted to tell her something about his day. If she didn’t know any better she felt like she was with Luke, her Luke and that thought alone made her think if that could happen. Could Luke have come back to her? That thought swirled into her mind until she looked at her clock. She was supposed to meet Lucas out in her garage to play some music together in 15 minutes, but she wanted to make sure things were clean before he came over.

Julie was walking up to her garage when she had overheard the piano. She knew that it was Lucas and she was about to walk in but the melody he played was very familiar and it stopped her just outside of the door. Her fingers twitched remembering herself playing those keys in the band room, she had not shown anyone that song ever, except Luke. Was this something Lucas had just created? No! She thought he couldn’t have. No one knew that song like she did, like Luke did. Then he slowly heard him recite some words that were her words. Hers and Luke’s words. How could he know what that song was? There had to be an explanation and just as she was about to open the door and demand to know where he stole that song from he stopped playing. Lucas let out a sigh and breathed out “I’m right here Jules, I’m right here.”

Julie began shaking and before she knew it tears came down her face. Her vision blurred and she tried to compose herself. Her Luke was here? How? Why? She wanted to run away, but she couldn’t move from outside of the garage. She slowly heard footsteps coming towards her, but her body wasn’t able to move. Lucas had opened the door and almost ran into her, but saw her just in time. 

“Julie, are you okay?” he asked with concern written all over his face.

“Lucas how did you know that song?” she asked through soft sobs.

Dammit he had been caught. He knew he shouldn’t have played it in her garage, but he thought he had enough time to just get it out of his system. She wasn’t supposed to hear that. He had to figure out how to get out of this because he didn’t know if he would be able to stay if he told her the truth.

“Umm I saw it on the piano?” Lucas stated as he shuffled his feet, very Luke of him to do as Julie saw and looked at him with confusion on her face. 

Julie ducked around Luke and went into the garage towards the piano and lo and behold the lyrics and musical notes to Perfect Harmony was there. Luke thanked whoever put that sheet of music there because he knew it wasn’t there earlier.

“I guess I must’ve left it there,” Julie said in a daze because she could’ve sworn that piece of music was never there to begin with. She must’ve misplaced it, she thought.

“Julie are you okay?” asked Lucas walking towards her slowly.

“Yea, I’m fine Lucas, I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just this song is very important to me,” Julie said as she sat on the piano bench.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke asked her softly sitting next to her on the bench.

Julie sighed. She hadn’t played that song or even talked about it to anyone. Nobody ever saw this song because this was hers and Luke’s song, just for their eyes. And here Lucas found it and even played it and sang to it. It unnerved her that someone had found something so personal to her. But she couldn’t figure out how it was even in there in the first place. That was weird for the song to be out in the open as she kept that so close to her because it was the last song that they wrote together, that had both of their writing on it. She kept that in her room, in her dream box, safe from everyone.

“This song is so special to me. I wrote for my boyfriend,” stated Julie as she looked at the piano. 

“Oh” Lucas stated and held her hand and gave it a squeeze gently asking her to continue.

“He… umm,” Julie tried to get the words out, but she also didn’t want to start crying again in front of Lucas.

“It’s okay Jules. You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready to. I get it,” Luke stated as he squeezed her hand again,  _ If you only knew I already know _ he thought to himself.

“No it’s.. It’s okay. Umm see his name was Luke. We were in a band together and umm he was my first boyfriend. We connected through our music. He actually helped me bring music back to my life,” she spoke with so much love in her voice and that warmed Luke’s heart. He knew that she loved him, but hearing her tell it to him not knowing who he truly was felt amazing.

“He.. we loved each other very much. But umm…” Julie stammered trying to will herself not to cry anymore because she missed him so much. 

Lucas squeezed her hands again and gave her a lopsided smile, urging her to continue.

“Luke umm moved on two years ago and I’ve never told anyone this before, but I feel like you would understand and umm sometimes I feel like I see him in you. Is that weird?” Julie looked up at Lucas with hope in her eyes.

Luke was shocked to hear that she felt this way. A part of him wanted to say  _ YES! It’s me baby! _ And then the other part of him , the very very small part of him, wanted to just let things be and hoping that she would fall in love with him again. “I don’t think it’s weird Jules, I think it’s healthy to see folks that have passed, in other people in your life,” he said, moving to hug her.

Julie nuzzled into his shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief. She felt so comfortable with Lucas that she thought maybe Luke sent him to her. She was wary of course because she didn’t want to fall in love again and Lucas might not even be into her or just wanted to stay friends. She would take it slow with him and build their friendship and see what would happen in the future.

“Thank you Lucas. Thank you for listening to me and for just being here. I appreciate you and our friendship,” she stated looking up at him with a bright smile on her face.

Lucas looked down into her face and was shocked at first at the word friendship, but hopefully it would be something more in the future. “Of course Jules, anything for you,” he gave her a lopsided smile and squeezed her tighter.

Julie furrowed her eyebrows for a quick second because he sounded just like Luke and gave her his smile. It was like she was looking at her Luke. Her Luke, that had features of Alex and Reggie combined, but it felt like her Luke. She went back to give him a smile and thought she was losing it. She enjoyed staying in Lucas’ arms for a little bit and they went to play music together, like they had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or comments :)


	8. Lessons Learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie, Flynn and Carrie go on a girls trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood
> 
> I think only a few more chapters to go for this one. Hope yalls enjoy this filler ;)

**Chapter 8: Lessons Learned**

It has been a few weeks since Lucas and Julie had their talk. They play music together and have been getting to know one another better. Flynn and Carrie were jealous that Julie didn’t have too much time for them so they decided to have a girls weekend. Julie went to tell Lucas that they would be going away and they would see each other when she got back. Lucas was a little sad to see her go, but understood how important girl time was to her, especially since they were all friends again. He told her that he would miss her and gave her a hug, “Have fun Jules,” he stated as he went home. 

“Girls weekend! WOO!” screamed the girls in Julie’s room. They picked up Julie to go to an airbnb they rented for the weekend in San Diego. When the girls got there they chose rooms and just sat outside their patio to look at the ocean.

“Thanks girls this was so needed! I missed yalls! I’m sorry I haven’t been around to hang out as much with school and all,” Julie said apologetically to her friends.

“And Lucas,” reminded Flynn as she smirked at Julie.

Julie blushed at Flynn bringing up Lucas. “I’m sorry, I promise no more boy talk this whole weekend,” stated Julie as she crossed her heart with her finger.

“Oh no, you gotta spill Jules!” exclaimed Carrie as she dragged Julie and Flynn away from the balcony into the kitchen. Grabbing some wine and wine glasses for them so they could hear about Julie’s “friend”.

“Let me drink some wine first and have something to eat a little bit before we go into talking about stuff,” Julie laughed as she took a hefty sip of her wine.

A couple hours passed as the girls grilled Julie about her feelings for Lucas. Julie was telling them that she was very shy around him and that she hadn’t felt that way with anyone else since Luke. True the girls had tried to set her up with guys a year after Luke had passed, but Julie didn’t feel like the guys were her type and only went out with them once, maybe twice, but after that Julie didn’t feel like she would be able to move on. But with Lucas it was different. He was so similar to Luke that she thought that Luke had brought him to her. She was still hesitant at first to even feel for him because she felt like she was betraying her Luke, but she knew that it was time to live her life. Luke would want that for her, had told her to live her life before he left. She just didn’t know if she would be able to take the first step and Lucas had been her friend throughout this time and he wasn’t making any other moves. She appreciated that but now it frustrated her because she wanted him to just show her that he thought of her more than just a friend.

“Well Jules who says you have to wait for him to make a move? Hello! Just make a move on him already,” exclaimed Flynn as they were getting ready to leave the airbnb for dinner.

“Yea Jules! Take a cue from Flynn because obviously I wasn’t going to make the first move on her,” Carrie smiled lovingly at Flynn holding her hand in hers.

“Yalls are too cute, I can’t take it,” Julie giggled at her two friends, happy that they finally got together after a year of pining for one another.

“Well thank you for giving us the push, now let’s go cuz I’m starved!” Flynn wrapped her arm around Carrie’s waist as they walked to the door to head out to dinner.

“You’re always hungry babe, what’s new?” chuckled Carrie leaning into Flynn’s shoulder.

Julie looked at her friends and wished she could be like that with Lucas. And that thought that it had been Lucas not Luke that came into her mind was what surprised her before the girls snapped her out of her thoughts as the Lyft was there to take them to dinner.

After dinner the girls decided to go to a bar down the street from the restaurant to get a drink and also dance off what they ate. They were surprised to see a local band there and enjoyed each other’s company as well as the music. Flynn and Carrie went to go dance when a slow song came on, leaving Julie with her thoughts as the music played. 

  
If Julie was honest with herself she would know that she was falling for Lucas. He had slowly crept into her heart when she was trying to keep it closed from him, from everyone. She didn’t know when he had slowly wormed his way in, but he did get into her heart. As she started to think about Lucas more, a different song came on that was expressing how she was exactly feeling right now. The singer singing about Julie and her own way of moving on from Luke, of healing herself after over 2 years of losing Luke.

_ There's some things that I regret _

_ Some words I wish had gone unsaid _

_ Some starts _

_ That had some bitter endings _

_ Been some bad times I've been through _

_ Damage I cannot undo _

_ Some things _

_ I wish I could do all, all over again _

_ But it don't really matter _

_ Life gets that much harder _

_ It makes you that much stronger _

_ Oh, some pages turned _

_ Some bridges burned _

_ But there were _

_ Lessons learned _

Julie knew that she would always love Luke and she felt like he was guiding her towards Lucas. She knew it was time to let Luke go fully and live her life, he would want that for her. And in all honesty she was falling for Lucas. She was happy around him and her friends have noticed the change in her. Julie knew that Flynn and Carrie hid the beginning of their relationship from her because they didn’t want to flaunt it in front of her face, especially since she was so heartbroken over Luke.

_ And every tear that had to fall from my eyes _

_ Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night _

_ Every change, life has thrown me _

_ I'm thankful, for every break in my heart _

_ I'm grateful, for every scar _

_ Some pages turned _

_ Some bridges burned _

_ But there were lessons learned _

She was thankful for the friendship with Flynn and Carrie. She would not be able to have even left the house if it weren’t for them. Julie was ready to move on, never forgetting Luke of course, but ready to move past the pain and live. She would probably take some time to get to really know Lucas and maybe just date in general. But she knew that with Lucas she can be herself, just like she was with Luke. She really wants to be able to stop comparing them and hopefully she will be able to one day, but there was a weird vibe she was getting from Lucas that he was more like Luke that he would like to admit. But maybe because his name is Lucas and he can’t be Luke can he? The song finished and her friends had come back to the table to Julie with a perplexed look on her face.

“Earth to Jules?” yelled Flynn over the upbeat music that was playing waving a hand in Julie’s face.

Julie startled for a second before regaining her composure and saw her friends in front of her, smiling slowly. “My bad ladies, I guess I was just in deep thought,” stammered Julie.

Flynn and Carrie shared a knowing glance at one another and grabbed Julie by the arms and dragged her to the bar enjoying their time together as friends.

The weekend had gone by so fast but it was much needed for Julie and the girls. They had reconnected again and were figuring out what to do for Halloween on the drive back home.

“Should we throw a Halloween party at the condo?” asked Flynn.

“Sure hun since Halloween does fall on a Saturday this year,” stated Carrie as she drove them home.

“Perfect! Well we have a week and a half to figure out costumes, sweetie we can go as a couples costume,” smiled Flynn as she took Carrie’s right hand in hers.

“Yes hun we can and Jules you and Lucas can go as a couple too,” smirked Carrie in the rearview mirror at Julie.

“Let me talk to Lucas first we’re not even a couple and you both know that!” Julie said while glaring at Carrie in the mirror.

“Well are you going to talk to him about it? Are you both going to start dating? I mean you two have been inseparable since what July? I think it’s about time Jules,” stated Flynn matter of factly.

“Yes Flynn thank you for the observation. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Tonight I just want to get home and sleep in my own bed, not that the bed at the airbnb wasn’t comfy, but I’d rather be in my own bed,” sighed Julie.

“No we get it, and also because a certain someone is just across the way from your said bed,” smirked Flynn as she and Carrie started giggling in the front seat.

Julie turned red and was so glad that the girls couldn’t see her. She knew that she had to talk to Lucas soon because she really did enjoy their times together. But she hoped that he felt the same way too and not see her as just a friend. 

When the girls dropped off Julie at her house she was surprised to find Lucas and Carlos in the living room playing video games.

“Oh hey Julie,” Lucas stated nonchalantly without looking away from the tv.

“Hey Jules!” exclaimed Carlos as he jumped up in triumph for winning Mario Kart.

“Hey guys, umm I’ll be in my room,” Julie announced while walking to her bedroom. She just wanted to take a nice shower and get some sleep after the long weekend she had with the girls.

Lucas got up from the couch and shuffled towards her before she was able to get to the stairs. Putting one hand on the back of his head and shifting his feet, he smiled softly at Julie. “Umm I hope you had a good time Jules, I’m sorry I was here. Just your dad asked me to watch Carlos when he went out to a shoot so umm yea,” he stammered blushing softly as Julie gave him a small smile.

“Umm thank you Lucas for doing that for my dad. Well I’m here now so I’m pretty sure you’re off duty now. And yes I did have a good time Lucas,” Julie slowly moved closer to him smiling softly at him.

They stood there looking at one another as if time had stopped and as she or was it him that was slowly inching towards the other they heard a loud shout. Broken from their reverie the two blushed and looked towards the sound. Chuckling softly at Carlos as he was yelling at the tv. 

“Umm I better go then Jules unless you need me to wait until you come back down?” Lucas asked hopeful that they would be able to get some time together.

Julie looked at him and wanted to just kiss him and hug him at the same time, but exhaustion took hold of her letting out a stifled yawn into her hand. “No it’s okay Lucas I got it. Thank you again for coming to watch Carlos while my dad was gone. We appreciate all your help,” yawned Julie. “I didn’t think I was so tired, I’m sorry.”

“No it’s okay Jules. I’ll see my way out. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Lucas asked smiling widely at Julie.

“Yes, um want to get dinner?” asked Julie.

“Sure, yea it’s a date! Good night Jules. Carlos see you later and I want a rematch!” laughed Lucas as he closed the door behind him.

  
Julie slowly went up the stairs and took her shower.  _ Yes tomorrow is when I will tell Lucas I want to be with him since he said it was a date _ she decided as she fell into a deep slumber dreaming of Lucas and his piercing light blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give some comments how you are liking it if possible. I'm not sure how to end this ;) Let me know if you want me to write a certain scene between JUKE =)


	9. What If I Never Get Over You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie and Lucas go out and Julie is reminded of Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these chapters with songs because it really does represent this ship. 
> 
> What If I Never Get Over You - Lady A

**Chapter 9: What If I Never Get Over You**

Julie and Lucas had been texting back and forth since the afternoon as Julie didn’t know where they should get dinner tonight. Lucas suggested he would take care of it and Julie was hesitant at first since she was the one that had brought up getting dinner with him the other night. She was reluctant at first to give him the duty to figure out a place for them to eat, but Lucas insisted that he had some place he wanted to take her. So she gave in and asked him what the vibe was like of the place so she could dress accordingly.

 **LUCAS:** Just dress like you =) 

**JULES:** Umm okay that is not helpful  
  
 **LUCAS:** You’ll be fine in whatever you wear.  
  
 **JULES:** OK.  
  
 **LUCAS:** See you at 5:30 ;)

Hence why the girls had come over since Julie had no idea what she was going to wear for her first date with Lucas.

Carrie and Flynn had brought some of their clothes over and looked through Julie’s closet for something that she could wear that was nice enough, but something she could move in just in case they were going to someplace where she needed to move around. They ended up dressing Julie in a dark green sweater dress with a thin black belt, black tights and boots. They decided to keep her make up simple, just eyeliner, mascara and a dark plum lip. Julie decided to keep her hair down and thanked the girls for their help as she waited for Lucas in the living room with two minutes to spare.

At exactly 5:30 Lucas was at her door. Julie was finishing up reapplying her lipstick when Lucas was greeted by Flynn and Carrie on their way out. “Have fun you two,” Carrie sweetly stated as she and Flynn left Julie’s house.

Lucas had waved goodbye to the girls and watched Julie as she was coming towards him from the hallway. He gasped a little as she came up to him smiling sheepishly at him.

“Hi Lucas.”

“Hi Jules, umm these are for you,” Lucas stated as he held out a bouquet of dahlias in the same color as her lips to her.

“Lucas, how did you know dahlias are my favorite?” Julie asked him as she took the flowers and smelled them.

 _Damnit! They had never talked about her favorite flower or anything like that. Damn how was he going to get out of this now!_ “Umm” he stammered. “I thought they were really pretty and thought of you,” Lucas smiled at Julie. _Yes good reply Luke_! He thought to himself.

“Well they are beautiful, thank you. Let me put these in a vase and then we can go?” she asked as she blushed up at him.

“You’re welcome,” he stated as he hoped she bought his little white lie.

They set off for the restaurant/bar that Lucas had picked out for them. It was Tuesday night and they had a live band playing that night that sang covers. Julie was glad she wasn’t over dressed for the restaurant/bar that Lucas had taken her to. They ordered their food and had small talk. Julie was still a little uneasy to actually be going on a date with Lucas. It had been something that she even suggested was new to her since losing Luke, but she felt that Lucas was letting her lead where they should go. He was patient with her and she was very thankful for him. She still couldn’t believe that he knew to bring her Dahlias. She wracked her mind to figure out when she had ever mentioned that to him. 

“Jules? Earth to Jules?”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Julie said sheepishly as she saw their hands together on the table top.

“It’s okay Jules, you just sort of spaced out there,” Luke said as he squeezed her hand, reassuring her.

They stared at each other for a while until they were disturbed by the waiter bringing over their food. Julie was all of a sudden not hungry and moved her food around on her plate. Lucas noticed it, but decided to not bring it up. She gave him a small smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes and Lucas felt to blame.

“Is everything okay Jules?” he asked cautiously.

“Yea, I’m sorry. This is just new to me since… Luke,” she said trying to keep her mind focused on her date.

“No it’s okay. Do you want to go? I’m okay with what you want,” Lucas said sadly.

“No it’s okay. I’m sorry, let’s just listen to the band okay?” she said, giving him a soft smile urging it to reach to her eyes even though she felt guilty for being here with Lucas because all she could think about was Luke. Then a song came on that the band played and she was glued to the band and the singers that spoke of heartache.

 _It's supposed to hurt, it's a broken heart_ _  
_ _But the movin' on is the hardest part_ _  
_ _It comes in waves, the letting go_ _  
_ _But the memory fades, everybody knows_ _  
_ _Everybody knows_

 _What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes_ _  
_ _And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye?_ _  
_ _And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?_ _  
_ _What if I never get over you?_

Julie felt Lucas get up and hold his hand out to her, “Do you want to dance Julie?”

Julie looked at him with sadness in her eyes but nodded softly and took his hand, guiding her to the dancefloor.  
  
 _Maybe months go by, maybe years from now_ _  
_ _And I meet someone and it's workin' out_ _  
_ _Every now and then, he can see right through_ _  
_ _'Cause when I look at him_ _  
_ _Yeah, all I see is you_

 _What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes_ _  
_ _And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye?_ _  
_ _And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?_ _  
_ _What if I never get over you?_

 _Ooh yeah_ _  
_ _What if I never get over?_ _  
_ _What if I never get closure?_ _  
_ _What if I never get back all the wasted words I told ya?_ _  
_ _What if it never gets better?_ _  
_ _What if this lasts forever and ever and ever?_

Lucas held Julie close to him listening to the words with her of the song that spoke of their shared heartbreak. He knew that she was still thinking about him, Luke. He was surprised that she had brought up wanting to go out with him, but he pushed it and told her it was a date. He wanted to take his words back, but he was excited. He then had to bring her dahlias, her favorite. He was giving her signs, but then he just ruined it, he pushed too hard. And now Julie was back to missing Luke.

Julie put her head on Luke’s chest as he held her while they danced. Her mind was reeling with emotions for both Lucas and Luke. She felt that she was ready to move on from Luke. She liked Lucas, but her mind went back to Luke when Lucas brought her dahlias. She never mentioned it to him, but that was something that Luke and her shared. Luke knew that she loved dahlias because it was her mom’s favorite flower. And it made her think of Luke when she saw them. Julie felt the tears pricking her eyes and slowly looked up at Lucas while the song continued to play and the tears started to fall slowly.

 _I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes_ _  
_ _And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye_ _  
_ _And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do?_ _  
_ _What if I never get over you?_

 _What if I gave you (what if I gave you) everything I got?_ _  
_ _What if your love was my one and only shot?_ _  
_ _What if I end up with nothing to compare it to_ _  
_ _What if I never get over? Oh, if I never get over_ _  
_ _What if I never get over you?_ _  
_ _What if I never get over you?_

 _Oh, what if I never get over?  
_ _Over you_

Lucas hugged her tightly to him and rocked her while she cried. When the song ended she looked up at him again, “I’m sorry Lucas, but I have to go, I can’t do this.” And she turned and ran out of the place. He dropped some money to pay for their food and ran after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know how you liked it. Thank you!


	10. There You'll Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie gets advice from Ray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. Hope you enjoy this next chapter

**Chapter 10: There You’ll Be**

Lucas caught up to Julie standing outside of the restaurant bowled over with tears, grief for him. He slowly walked towards her softly putting a hand on her back trying to ease her crying. Julie slowly got up and looked at Lucas tears running down her face.

“Lucas, I’m so sorry about everything in there. I just … I just,” she sputtered out through tears and sobs.

Lucas hugged her to his chest as Julie instinctively hugged him back. “Shhh, it’s okay Jules. I get it,” he said rubbing her back.

Julie nodded as she kept crying to him. Lucas held her back for a little bit and gave her a lopsided smile and held her hand to walk back to his car. Julie silently thanked him and walked hand in hand with Lucas, her tears drying in the cold air.

As they got to the car Lucas opened the door for her. Julie looked up at him with twinkle in her eyes, “Thank you Lucas for everything. And for not running away when I was crying back there,” she said as the words left unsaid  _ unlike Luke _ lingered between them. She got into her seat as Lucas closed the door and walked back to his side of the car.  _ I guess I’m getting better at watching girls cry _ he thought as a small smile crept up as he got into the car looking at Julie.

“Okay Jules, let's get you home okay?” he asked as he started the car.

“Thank you Lucas, that would be great,” she said as she took his hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Lucas gave her that smirk that reminded her so much of Luke that she gasped a little that she thought he didn’t hear her. Lucas did hear, but let it go. His mannerisms were hard to break, but he couldn’t stop it. He was Luke, her Luke regardless of what he looked like on the outside. They held hands until they got to her house. Lucas walked her up to her door and gave her a reassuring hug gently kissing the top of her head and wished her good night.

As Julie walked into her house she heard her father in the kitchen. “Hey honey! You’re home early!” Ray stated as he walked towards her.

“Hey dad,” she said solemnly as he enveloped her into a hug. 

“What happened mija?” he asked as she sighed into his chest.

“Papi, can I ask you a question?” she asked tentatively, still in his arms.

“Of course mija, you can always come to me with anything,” he encouraged her as he gave her a small squeeze.

She looked at her father’s eyes and took a breath before asking him, “How did you umm move on? From mama?” 

Ray was taken aback by the question from his daughter. In reality he never has truly moved on from Rose fully, she was still a constant in his life regardless of how long she was gone.

“Oh Mija,” Ray said as he sat her on the couch still holding on to her. “Mija in all honesty I have not moved on from your mama because your mama is always with me all the time. I see her in you and Carlos. She is in our home and most importantly she is here with me and with you two,” he said pointing to his heart. “Your mama has never truly left us because we don’t let her leave us, she is a part of us, always. Regardless if she is not here physically,” he said with bright eyes looking down at Julie.

Julie saw the love that her father had for her mother shining in his eyes. But there was no longer sadness in them as there had been after a few years she was gone. There were times that he was sad, but it wasn’t the deep sadness that he once had. She also knew that he didn’t have to hide it as much as he did. Her dad loved her mom and always would, but he was moving on and starting to date. He had even dated someone more than twice, which was a big step for him. He was slowly opening up his heart to other people outside of her and Carlos.

“Can I ask what helped you be less sad about mom not being here?” she asked looking at him.

“Well mija, grief is different for everyone. Like for you grief was to stop doing what you and your mom did together, music. For me it was holding in that grief and never letting you two see it because I had to be strong for you two. And sometimes I talk to her in my head. I visit her on special days, her birthday, the day we met, and our anniversary, never at the cemetery, but at our special place. But it took a while mija to be okay with her not being here with us, with me. There are times when I have broken down and had to let myself be okay with that. And I know that you know what that feels like too,” he hugged her tightly into him giving her a knowing look.

Julie sighed into her father’s chest feeling like a little girl again, him holding her like he could take every bad thing away just by being in his arms.   
  
“But mija, it does get easier. And sometimes we need to open up to others and just live because your mom’s last wish was for me to live. And I hadn’t kept my promise to her for a few years after she passed because I had to adjust to raising you two and trying to figure out how to grieve myself. When I finally did it felt like a weight lifted off of me. Not a bad thing, but I finally let myself live again. At first I felt like I was betraying her memory and her love for me. Like if I let myself live again without her that I was showing her that I didn’t love her enough. But slowly I figured out that loving her meant to live, fully live like she had asked of me,” he said, giving her a squeeze. Julie looked up at him and he tried to answer the questions she asked with her eyes.

“Oh mija, yes it was hard, it still is at times, but I think about the life that she had lived and how she lived every second of it even until the very end. And I know that she would want that for me, for all of us to live. And if living means finding someone else to love I know that is what she would’ve wanted. She even told me that herself!” he chuckled as Julie chuckled along with him.

“Papi, how do I know it is the right time to  _ live _ ?” she asked him with her head on his shoulder, still hugging tightly to Ray.

“Well mija, it really is up to you. You have to want to live again. And know that he would want you to live like you helped him live while he was here,” Ray stated matter of factly with love in his voice.

“Papi, I… how did you know?” Julie asked looking up at her father.

“Mija, I know the boys, the band meant a lot to you. And I know that all of a sudden they were gone. Mija I know how much Luke meant to you. Anybody could see it, even if it took you two longer to admit. He loved you mija, that was obvious to everyone around you two. And even if I only was able to see him when you all were playing, I saw it in his eyes and in your eyes as well. It reminded me of how your mom and I looked at one another. Believe me, it was hard at first that you had fallen in love with a  _ phantom _ so to speak, but I knew that your souls were connected. And I know how much it hurt for him to have to leave you,” he said kissing the top of her head.

“Papi how did you know how he felt when had to leave me?” 

“Because mija, it was how your mother felt and how I would’ve felt if I had to leave her. And like I said that boy looked at you like you were his everything. And he would do anything to make sure that you weren’t sad, no matter what. And I know that you would feel the same if you had to leave him too. Mija, I know that you two didn’t have as much time like your mother and I did, but what you two shared was like me and your mama. Pure love. And I know that one day you will find that again with someone else. Because I know he would move heaven and earth to make sure that you mija, were happy.”

“Papi it’s so hard. I miss him so much,” Julie sobbed into her father’s arms.

“I know mija, I know. But know that he is always there with you, just like your mama. Look when your mom and I first started dating we went on a few dates and then this movie came out about the bombing of Pearl Harbor. But it was mostly a love story about a man who fought in WWII and the woman he loved. Well I won’t spoil the end for you in case you want to watch it, but there was one song in particular that your mom loved in that film. And it was one of the songs we danced to at our wedding. I listen to it now and again, but it reminds me of your mom. I have the CD, but I’m pretty sure you can find it on that Spot thing,” he chuckled as he heard Julie’s chuckles.

“What is the song title Papi?”

“Give me your phone and I’ll look it up for you,” he said as Julie handed him her phone and set it up so he could get on Spotify. He found and played the song for her as she laid her head on his shoulder again.

_ When I think back on these times, _ _  
_ _ And the dreams we left behind, _ _  
_ _ I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get, _ _  
_ _ To have you in my life, _

_ When I look back on these days, _ _  
_ _ I look and see your face, _ _  
_ _ You were right there for me. _

_ In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky, _ _  
_ _ In my heart there'll always be a place for you, _ _  
_ _ For all my life, _ _  
_ _  
_ _ I'll keep a part of you with me, _ _  
_ _ And everywhere I am there you'll be, _ _  
_ _ And everywhere I am there you'll be, _

Ray started humming the song as Julie listened intently to the beautiful words. It was like everything she was feeling for Luke all in one song. And she knew that it was the same feeling for her dad.

_ Well you showed me how it feels, _ _  
_ _ To feel the sky within my reach, _ _  
_ _ And I always will remember all, _ _  
_ _ The strength you gave to me, _ _  
_ _ Your love made me make it through, _ _  
_ _ Ohh I owe so much to you, _ _  
_ _ You were right there for me. _

_ In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky, _ _  
_ _ In my heart there'll always be a place for you, _ _  
_ _ For all my life, _

_ I'll keep a part of you with me, _ _  
_ _ And everywhere I am there you'll be, _ _  
_ _ And everywhere I am there you'll be, _

“Thank you Papi, for sharing this song with me,” Julie said as she smiled at her father.

“You’re welcome mija. And know that Luke loved you and he would want you to live. And if I can guess, he asked you to live for him,” he said to his daughter as he kissed her forehead. “I’m always here for you mija if you need anything. I know how hard it is to grieve on your own, and I don’t want you to ever do that again because I’m here for you mija.”

“I know Papi. And thank you again for letting me be a kid again and comforting me.”

“Oh mija, you will always be my mija, no matter how old you are,” he chuckled as he gave her one last hug and walked into the kitchen. “Tacos tonight?” he asked inside of the kitchen.

“Yes thank you again Papi,” she said as she went up to her room listening to the song over and over again.

_ Cause I always saw you in my light, my strength, _ _  
_ _ And I wanna thank you now for all the ways, _ _  
_ _ You were right there for me, you were right there for me _ _  
_ _ You were right there for me, _ _  
_ _ For always _

_ In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky, _ _  
_ _ In my heart there'll always be a place for you, _ _  
_ _ For all my life, _

_ I'll keep a part of you with me, _

_ And everywhere I am there you'll be _

_ And everywhere I am there you'll be _

  
Julie laid in her bed thinking about the conversation she had with her dad. Thinking about how she didn’t know how much he and her were so similar in their grieving process. She had known that she had shut him out when she was grieving her mom, but she didn’t know that he knew about her grieving Luke. How her dad had brought up not loving her mom enough if she lived without her, knowing that was how she felt about Luke. But assuring her that they both wanted them to live and that meant truly live without feeling guilty because they were no longer there for them. She felt comforted that someone else had felt that same guilt when grieving someone they loved. She may look like her mom, but she was truly her father’s daughter.

“Luke, if you can hear me I love you. And you will always be here with me, I know that now. Thank you for loving me and showing me what it felt like to be loved. For taking care of me and for being you. I just want to say thank you for sending me Lucas. You wouldn’t believe it but he has the same mannerisms as you, but he looks like a combo of Reggie and Alex,” she chuckled to herself as she kept talking to Luke, like her dad had confessed he did with her mom. 

  
“But he has your nose and lips, weird right? It’s like you and the boys are in one person. He is very nice and kind and has been there. I sometimes think it’s you in another body, but that is just wishful thinking. I mean how could that even be possible?! But I told him that I see you in him sometimes. Is that weird? He told me that it wasn’t. I thought he might’ve just thought I was crazy, but he seemed so okay with it. Like something you would do to make sure that I was okay. 

I really miss you Luke. And I just want to say that I’m sorry that I haven’t lived like you wanted me to. But I think I needed to grieve more. And I know that sometimes it will still hurt, but I’m trying okay? Please don’t be mad at me. I’m trying to move on without you next to me. Without the band and the boys. I’m even starting to write again. I know it’s been long overdue, but I’m taking it slow. I don’t have my writing partner anymore so it’s a little bit harder.

I’m sorry that was not nice to say, but you know that we made each other better. I hope I make you proud Luke. I hope to sing again in front of a crowd again soon. And not just for you, but for me too. I love you baby. I always will. You will always have a piece of my heart,” she stared at her ceiling and breathed deeply.

Ray was standing outside of her door ready to call her down for dinner as he heard her talking to Luke. “Mi mariposa fuerte, te amo hija,” he whispered as he softly went downstairs and called her down for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There You'll Be - Faith Hill
> 
> Please leave a review. Having a little bit of writer's block. Let me know what you want to read next :) Thank you!
> 
> PS I don't speak Spanish so please excuse the Spanish at the end. Translation: "My Strong Butterfly, I love you my daughter."

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what yalls think. I have another chapter coming up. Appreciate you all. Remember this is only my 3rd time writing a fanfic and the first time writing a multi chapter fic! Also I love music so each chapter will have at least one song. I recommend listening to the song while reading each chapter because that is how I got my inspiration to write each chapter. Okay I hope yalls enjoy sorry for the long explanations!


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